За да успее човек в нещо първо трябва да се провали. Това е най-добре изглеждащия ми провал до момента в пътя наречен “уча се да рисувам прилично”.

Самата картина:

(e цъкни на нея де!)

Осъзнах колко сериозно съм се спънал след като имах превилегията да получа коментар от един много добър илюстратор – Стерлинг Хъндли.

Не ми се превежда за това ето направо историята на английски.

Аз обяснявам:

Well, I’m coming from a post-communist country, Bulgaria. Even though I was born in 1989, the year democracy came I can still clearly see what communism has done to my country and humanity in general. I like reading about the topic and there are some quite horrible consequences from the existence of the USSR itself.
I was provoked by the fact that the daughter of a communist and a murderer (who brutally killed one of Bulgaria’s greatest 20 century artists) – Irina Bokova was elected a Director-General of UNESCO because the Bulgarian president (also an “ex” communist) lobbied for her.
I was also provoked by the fact that today you can get arrested if you have a t-shirt with a swastika on it, but you can easily wear a t-shirt with Che Guevara or the USSR flag on it (and a lot of people do, unfortunately). People think of nazism as something worse compared to communism which is simply not true. Stalin actually killed more people than Hitler ever did (simply google “holodomor” just to get an idea), the first political mass murder was done by Lenin and friends, I can go on and on. So both regimes have very similar philosophies (they were actually allies for a few years before and during WWII) and are equally evil – thats what i’m trying to say.
The main symbol is the uniform the girl is wearing – in both Nazi Germany and communist countries the students had the same uniforms – white shirt, black skirt and a red tie.

И отговора на Стерлинг:

I’ve been busy with a number of things, but I wanted to reply to your work. One thing that we try to be on this site is candid, especially when someone posts work in the Critique forum. Please understand that my explanation comes from a place of trying to help you improve.

I personally believe that the way an image is painted, that is the technical application of medium, drawing, etc. serves a greater master- the message that it is trying to convey. This is especially true when the intent is communication of an idea, which is the case in your painting.

My visceral reaction to the work is to be offended . Reading your statement, you are clearly very moved by your rejection of Communism, its benefactors, and the affect that it has had on Germany and the Soviet Union. You have an immense amount to get across to your viewer, and it doesn’t seem to align with the way that you have depicted it.

I often find that the connection of disparate things can be bridged with a symbol. In this case, that common denominator is the uniform, as a symbol of conformity. In your problem solving, this is a good starting point. The fatal flaw in the staging and ideation behind this work, that would trump even a technically flawless painting, is in your depiction of the young girl in an overtly sexual pose.

First, A school girl references innocence, and certainly applies to a certain age of a child. This is very dangerous territory indeed.
Secondly, is the fact that this sexual act is self initiated, which is contrary to your message of force.
Third, less is more- I would encourage that you think in terms of indoctrination of a child into an ideology, the grouping of children, the loss of individual identity, or similar. This would be a more benign method of broaching a difficult topic, and ultimately would have a more sustained, more intense affect on a much broader audience than a painting that shocks, and immediately loses any chance of more intelligible scrutiny.

I’m sorry if my reaction is harsh. This would be my reaction to the painting if I was speaking directly to a friend. I look forward to seeing your growth from here.

Аз:

Well, what can I say..
The idea came to me so quickly and I didn’t think it through – I just started painting. Which sometimes I guess is not a bad thing, but when one wants to express something deep and want to make people think – I guess that well, thinking is a requirement

You really don’t have to apologize – the feedback is incredibly valuable to me. It showed me that I’m still immature, because I actually enjoyed seeing people getting “shocked” when looking at the flags and the masturbating girl (not suprisingly a lot of people think of masturbation as something that’s not to be exhibited in any way). But then again, I didn’t really provoke much thinking in the viewers about the main point of the painting. They just got confused.

So anyway, thank you very very much. I’ll probably add some more touches to the thing, call it finished and then years later will lough at it
I learned *a lot* on the technical side while painting it so it wasn’t a (complete) waste of time anyway.

Първата стъпка към това да пораснеш е да осъзнаеш колко си непораснал. Надявам се.

Сега за домашно – скици и брейнсторминг до безкрай за да намеря по-подходящ начин да изобразя идеята си.

***

Благодарая на Пейо за коментарите в първите дни на рисунката, които бяха още през октомври.

***

В главата ми имаше аргумент, че чрез мастурбацията мацката “цапа” знамената и съответно идеите които те символизират. Но след спорове със себе си и разговори с приятели стигнах до извода че всъщност това не е така. Женската мастурбация в никоя култура не се гледа като на нещо което, хм, цапа. Мастурбацията при мъжете е друго нещо, защото еакулацията е много по-силно изразена визуално. Но всъщност излиза че дори да нарисувам мъж който се празни върху знамена пак няма да има ефект, просто защото спермата в главите на хората е нещо което създава живот, нещо… “продуктивно”. Дори в западната култура. За това и гаджето ви по-скоро ще се навие да свършите върху нея отколкото да се изпишкате върху нея – едното е нещо което дава живот, другото е боклук.

(това със сигурност е един от малкото текстове писани някога които започват с размисли върху политически идеологии и приключват с разсъждения върху мастурбацията и как хората гледат на спермата и урината)

Извинете.